'No' is not a four-letter word

A local newspaper is delivered to the middle school where I work every morning.  Sometimes I read it; many times I don't.  It's not the best paper in the world.  However, something caught my eye in the 'Lifestyles' section today.  It was an article about how kids today are obsessed with technological gadgets (say it ain't so!), and how their parents are just at a complete loss as to what to do.

Excuse me?

At the beginning of the article, one woman says her 13-year-old daughter's grades plummeted when she was using her laptop and cell phone incessantly, sending up to 2,000 TEXTS PER DAY.  Why yes, you read that correctly.  A two with three zeroes after it, indicating the number two thousand.  When they restricted her texting ability to not be able to do it between 9 pm and 6 am, the child verbally abused her parents, slammed doors, and BROKE THINGS.

Um, what?

First of all, since when has it been okay to let a 13-year-old have her own personal laptop, cell phone, and flat screen TV?  When I was younger (this would be my mother coming out right now), we had one TV in the house.  Uno.  Ein.  One.  And today, in 2010, we still have one TV in the house.  Sometimes, I wish we didn't have one at all, because I spend way too much time in front of it.  However, we do limit how much time our daughter spends watching it.  Why the hell does a 13-year-old, or a child/teen of any age, need a flat screen TV in their room?  Also, why does she have a laptop?  We have one computer for the house.  It's a piece of crap, but it hasn't shit the bed yet.  Our daughter is not really interested in it (she's only seven), but when she gets older, that too will be monitored.  And last, why the hell does a 13-year-old have a cell phone?  When I was 13, we didn't have cell phones.  We didn't even have cordless phones.  If you wanted to talk to someone far away, you were tethered to the wall while you did it.  And I made it out alive.  Will wonders never cease?  And you know what?  Many parents say, well what if there is an emergency, and I need to contact my child?  I've got news for you.  Call the school.  If you call your child on their cell phone a) it won't do any good, b) you'll have to call the school anyway, and c) if there is an emergency, the school is not going to let your child just waltz out of school on a whim.  Every child must be accounted for by the faculty and/or the administration.  Duh.

The other thing that really PISSED ME OFF about this article was how helpless the parents seemed to control their children's actions.  When did our children begin to rule the roost?  When did we stop telling our children 'no'?  I see it every damn day at school - kids are rude, they expect everything to be done for them, and no one holds them accountable for their actions.  The aforementioned 13-year-old BROKE THINGS when she was angry at her parents.  If my daughter did that, the consequences would be swift and severe.  First of all, if she had a cell phone, she would have one no longer.  Second of all, her Internet access would be SEVERELY restricted.  And third, she would be grounded for a really, really long time, and I would make her do embarrassing things with me in public where she might be seen by her friends.  No daughter of mine is going to act that way.  Ever.

We are here to be parents.  Our kids have friends already; they don't need us to be their friends, and we'll never be as cool as their friends anyway, so you all may as well stop trying.  We need to provide our kids with guidance, love, and discipline (not necessarily in that order).  And that means that sometimes we have to draw the line and say NO.  No, you may not have a cell phone at the age of 10.  No, you may not wear a thong before the age of 25 (and even then, I'm strongly against it).  No, you may not get into a car with a boy I've never met.  No, you may not go to that party, because I know there will be drugs and alcohol there. 

Am I strict parent?  I like to think I am.  Am I a loving parent?  You bet.  Have I already been told that I am the meanest mom in the world?  Of course.  Will it happen again?  Without a doubt.  Do I care?  Not really.  I want my daughter to grow and flourish and be happy and healthy, and she will not be these things if I give into her every whim.  If she wants to dye her hair blue and pierce her face and wear stupid clothes, that's fine by me.  That's what adolescence is for.  I want to encourage her creativity, I want her to continue to read and learn and draw and paint and dance and learn tae kwon do.  But most of all, I want her to be nice.  I want her to be nice to herself, nice to me and my husband, and nice to others.  I am proud of her, and I want her to be proud of herself.  I want her to know that you have to work for things, and that some things have value, and they must be earned.  The most important thing she can earn is the genuine trust of others. 

Next rant: The Horrific State of American Education as Evidenced in Southeastern PA Schools.  Wheeee!